Glory to God.
Third term for my third year in college’s over! Now i’m headed to a new phase in my life which I know is very crucial, and I must do everything to meet the needs to finish this course.
I call this term a miracle term. As I said before, comparing it to my previous terms, it has the worst course combination (at least, for me) and I really had a hard time surviving every quiz, every project, every final exam, most especially, coping up with the fact that most of my subjects this term that ended required a lot of patience and boldness to make new bonds with the people I am gonna spend the rest of my college life. I know it’s been hard, and a lot of people feel the same ‘cause the term just ended and some got good results, some got bad. I think I got the first one, and I owe it all to God. He’s the one who did everything. From passing the courses, to getting grades no lower than 2.0, it’s a miracle. Everything in my life is a miracle. Thank you, God!
I look back to the times when I was ready to give up and drop some of my subjects but I would always end up reflecting at night, saying, “If I don’t take this now, if I don’t fight for this now, then when?”, and that gave me the courage to take baby steps; just little steps but would surely bring me to the glory line, with God leading the way.
Just when I thought everything’s fine, the devil would show me something to stumble on and hate life. I admit it, sometimes it’s the people closest to us that bring us these hard feelings as if we didn’t achieve something or we aren’t worthy of something, even just appreciation.
I remember the moment when my mom asked what grades are out already, and I told her that so far, I got a 4.0, a 3.5, and a 2.0. Among all of these, she noticed my 2.0. I was like, “what the heck?! do you think I didn’t do anything about that? People are actually crying right now wishing to pass the subject, and here I am, I got a 2.0, still, you’re not happy?”. I was disheartened at that moment because I thought I’m so unlucky with the parent I have, but then, this statement from my classmate brought a slap to my face:
I love the fact that my mom got angry when she saw that low grade on one of my subjects. It’s not that she’s accusing me of wasting my time with extra curricular or some other stuff… It’s that she knows I can excel academically, and she just wants me to make that happen…. It’s like what any mom would do…. #ILoveMyMom
I know my mom wasn’t a showy mom, most of the time, she won’t praise me when I get a set of really high grades, instead, she would just plainly tell me to do the same or even better next time. She’s not the one to say, “Good job! What do you want as a reward?”. Yeah, really (though she told me once that if I get into the DL again, she’d buy me a violin. Not that it is impossible, it’s just it’s too hard for me to get in it because I’m always a few notch away or things like that). The words above just struck the inner emotions of my heart. Good for my friend, he has a mom that explains to him directly that he can do even more. Nevertheless, I know my mom wants the same for me. Behind all the sermons she gave me for not focusing on my studies, behind all the accusations that she’s told me about prioritizing the org stuff rather than my academics, I know she just wants me to be a more knowledgeable engineer in the future.
I don’t know how long I can stand on this realization, but for now, I have enough reasons to tell my heart to be stronger, and to achieve even better. I don’t know how long I can defend my mom’s rants within me, but I promise to always look on that statement of my friend’s mom, to remind myself that “MOTHERS KNOW BEST”.